Counselling for stress in Berkhamsted

 

What Do We Really Mean by Stress?

We say “I’m feeling stressed” all the time, but how often do we really stop and think about what that actually means? In my counselling room, when someone tells me they’re stressed, we usually work together to uncover what’s really going on underneath. Because strictly speaking, stress isn’t a feeling, it’s more like a signal.

Stress is a kind of internal gauge that tells us how much pressure we’re under and whether we feel able to cope with what life is throwing at us. When you can meet your challenges and feel solid in your capacity to cope, you generally don’t feel stressed. We feel stressed when that sense of capacity starts to falter, when it wobbles,  and that can bring up a whole mix of different feelings.

 

Why Stress Feels So Different for Each of Us

Rather than thinking of stress as one big thing, it can be more useful to see it as a state made up of many feelings. The first step in working with it is identifying what those feelings actually are. And that’s rarely easy to do on your own, we all have blind spots. A good counsellor helps you explore those hidden places in a warm, patient, non-judgmental environment.

To show how individual stress really is, think about these different scenarios:

- A young woman struggling to find work while living with chronic pain that limits her body.

- A father having panic attacks at work whenever he needs to speak to a group.

- A young man facing prosecution for a crime he didn’t commit.

- A mother overwhelmed by caring for her child, haunted by the neglect she experienced from her own mother.

 

All of these situations are stressful, but each one stirs up very different feelings. To simply label each person as “stressed” misses the depth and nuance of their individual experiences. What’s more, each stress response is shaped by that person’s life history. Much of what’s activated under stress is unconscious.

 

How Counselling Helps Unpack Stress

Counselling can help bring those unconscious processes into awareness, which often reduces distress significantly. When we’re caught in difficult feelings, there’s usually a lot happening beneath the surface: unspoken beliefs, hidden assumptions, fears about what others might think, worries about what we can handle, rigid ideas of who we think we “should” be.

We often fail to live up to these internal ideals, which can make us feel even worse. We might find ourselves thrown back into old emotional states from childhood in a kind of emotional “hypnosis” but because we don’t realise it’s happening, we can’t do anything about it.

 

The Value of Lightbulb Moments

It’s only when we unpack and explore these layers that we can start to feel calmer and more grounded. Most people are surprised by just how much is going on inside them when they begin to explore their stress. Often, simply shining a light on these processes starts to drain away tension. Amazing things happen when the mind begins to really see itself. Therapy is full of those “lightbulb moments” sudden insights that bring profound relief and a sense of calm.

 

Tailored Counselling in Berkhamsted

There isn’t a one-size-fits-all method for working with stress because no two people experience it in the same way. The most effective approach is always the one that respects each person’s unique way of seeing and experiencing the world. I work with people from all walks of life, facing all kinds of challenges. If you’re struggling, there’s a good chance I can help.

 

If your stress levels are troubling you and you’re looking for support, I offer counselling in Berkhamsted and can be contacted on 07717 515 013 or via my contact page.