Counselling in Berkhamsted with Sean Heneghan - Should everyone have counselling?

‘Do you think everyone should have counselling?’ is a question I’m often asked, and my answer often garners a quizzical response. I think it’s assumed that since I’m a therapist I must think everyone should have therapy, but this isn’t the case.

I think counselling is for people that are interested in having a particular kind of conversation - conversation being essentially what counselling is. It’s an exploratory, open kind of dialogue that flows back and forth, typically deepening as it progresses, with a focus on making the kind of discoveries about yourself that are likely to make a difference in the area you’re struggling with. Such a conversation builds over time into a warm, supportive and non judgemental relationship, in which you the client get a chance to explore yourself in a way that promotes a deeper understanding of your self, and an increased capacity to live well with the emotional challenges of life. The level of interest that people have for this kind of conversation is hugely variable. Some people are naturally curious about themselves and want to read, talk, and explore their inner life, for other people it’s a much less enticing prospect. If someone really wasn’t interested in having the kind of conversation that’s geared toward a deeper understanding of themselves, that lack of interest should be respected. A conversation after all requires two participants, and there is no conversation to be had if one party really doesn’t want to be involved in it. In this sense I think counselling is not something people should be forced into, it's something to be offered.

It’s sometimes assumed that counselling is a kind of thing that’s ‘done’ by a therapist to a client, as if counselling was a set of instructions or something taught. While counselling may involve aspects of dialogue that are informative or educational, there’s nothing instructional about it. It’s mutual and collaborative rather than hierarchical and authoritarian. There is after all no set of instructions about how you should live your life, and I would say good therapy helps you discover the depths of what you think and feel rather than trying to get you to feel some particular way. Counselling is typically a process of tentative and supportive discovery, populated, when it’s successful, by surprise and novelty. For me, it’s valuable because it helps you discover those aspects of yourself that reside out of your conscious awareness, parts that you’re unlikely to find by yourself.

So should everyone have counselling? No, not if they are fundamentally not interested in the kind of dialogue it entails, but for those people who are curious about themselves it can be a vital part of psychological and emotional health

If you’re curious about counselling with me in Berkhamsted please feel free to get in touch